too packed with the things in my life that i feel slightly cooped up.

these are inevitably the part and parcel of strings attached. relationship, family, work & monetary worries.

looking at the blog entries i make i feel unrelated to it somehow. so brief and somewhat flashy haha like simply updating ppl with pictures and things that happened but the long winded maria who used to remember every single detail of the day to share with others seems to have disappeared for a long time. i no long have enough time to think on my own, time to spend on myself (contradictingly so cos i wanna be with bf YET i yearn for some time for my own). you want both worlds but you can't. i'm not really happy socially either. i havent gone up much with any of my friends for a very long time and enjoyed the joy of it since my first day at UPS. it ursurped alot of my joy and replaced it with a rather dull me. a low profile me. i sorely missed the time when ah yi they all are still around me. i know i was happier back then.

i feel alittle disappointed with the working environment at UPS. not saying it's bad. i simply dun feel like i'm ever gonna click with any of the ppl there (except a few) and don't think i want to either.

i'm rather snappish sometimes. cos of my restlessness. i wanna get out of this situation but i can't. not just yet. i wanna get more pay to spend more comfortably and to pamper the people i love.

i havent got the time and the luxury to spend it leisurely to ponder over my thoughts and experience or opinions. it gets lost and since i don't pen it down, w/o access to the pc i yearn to type away yet once i get hold of the pc, the feeling has been lost and i lost my inspiration to write.

oh well..